This summer has not been typical in any sense. It all started with Troy's cancer diagnosis. Surgery, recovery, treatment planning with all the doctor appointments, scans, tests, actual chemotherapy and the scheduling mess that it makes.... And I'm not even getting into the emotional toll it can take on a person.
We found out on Father's day we were expecting a 5th child in February. This was the best news we could have received in such a stressful time. An answer to a prayer, a sign of Hope! It was all pretty amazing since he had a testicle removed in May, I was still breast feeding at the time, and there was only a 2 week window of opportunity before he started chemo.
It was so hard to not tell our friends and family, but it was early.
Monday, as I sat with Troy during his treatment I started bleeding. I fought tears and prayed. We waited until his treatment was over, and with the help of sweet friends watching our children, we went to the hospital. The miscarriage was confirmed after a lot of tests and Tuesday I had a D&C.
Sadly, this post is taking place where Ginnie's birthday (yesterday), and Livia's birthday (today) should be. Our incredible friends have completely stepped up in that department and are making these days special for the girls. I am over whelmed and cry every time I think of how sweet they are. In fact, I'm crying a lot. I wanted this baby before we even knew he or she was there.
It is hard to feel so devestated, yet know there is hope. I can't believe it is natural to feel both ways at once. It can only come from a God who is over all things natural and supernatural. There is a God big enough to use each trial for more than I can understand.
We are trusting and holding on to the Lord, praying that he will use us even now, especially now.